Open letter to his ex’s who let him go

I know all about you guys, I know mainly the bad parts but I also know some of the good. You probably assume he only tells me(the new girl), the worst things but youre wrong.. This is one of many reasons, hes with me, not you.. You assume. You think the lowest of him and you look down upon him. I have been with him for quite a few years now and I really don’t understand how anyone could let a man like him go. Than again, I feel as if I have a side of him nobody ever got to experience. For that, I am so grateful.

I know you guys have tried reaching out to him, its been months, years but you throw him a text to say hello or ask how hes doing. Or maybe you reach out because you realize you messed up or you see hes doing well and you want him back. I know you guys enough to know you wanted the satisfaction of getting a rise out of him and any kind of reply just to see if his feelings are still there. I also know you’re starting to realize that its different with me unlike the other girls he dated after you that he would mess around with until you guys would get back, I know you’re starting to realize hes not going to take the chance of messing things up with me.

I’m not sitting here trying to act like I am better than you or prettier than you or smarter than you. But I am sitting here letting you know he loves me more than he ever did with either of you. I love him more and more each day and I never let it slip, I never let him question my love for him, or especially my trust. I didn’t come into his life by meeting him at a club.. I didn’t come into his life by begging for a title.. I didn’t come into his life bringing him craziness or stress or a tiring relationship. I came into his life calmly and peacefully. I came into his life offering nothing but friendship and with that, we fell helplessly in love.

You probably assume hes going to screw me over and hurt me the way he did to you. Welp, wrong again. Ive heard countless amounts of stories and by the looks of the way you present yourself, I don’t understand how you expected him or anyone for that matter to ever respect you. I treat him with respect and loyalty, and that’s what he gives me in return.

But all in all, as much as it makes me itch at the thought of all of you, I no longer let any of it get to me. I don’t hate you or dislike you or am out to get you. Because I won. Whether you will ever admit it or not. You guys got the boy and I got the man. I get to wake up beside him every morning and kiss him goodnight each night. I want to thank you for hurting him and showing him the worst kind of “love” possible, because I was the one who was able to really love him and give him what he deserved. I am the one by his side. And I am the one who has the privilege of spending forever in his arms.

Love isn’t supposed to be easy

Growing up we are taught that love is everything. That love will take away any problem you are going through or take away any kind of stress you have. We are taught love can turn our world inside out and make it perfect. We are taught love will be easy and fall into our laps when its ready too. I’m here to tell you why I disagree. I’m here to say that love isn’t all magic or fairytales or full of happily ever afters.

We think the second there is a problem in a relationship we should walk away, “it shouldn’t hurt to love right?” Wrong. So wrong. If it doesn’t hurt when your other is upset or angry or stressed, you don’t really love them. If your hurting when you get in a fight, youre doing it all right. Love is compromise, love is arguing and saying sorry ten minutes later because nothing is worth staying mad at, love is ugly words you know they don’t mean when theyre hurt by your actions or something you said, love is listening to them, being patient with them, forgiving them. Love is trusting them no matter who tries to get in the way or tear you guys apart(there will always be someone). Love is supporting them and never giving up.

Often.. people look for love in the wrong ways or places. First things first, never go looking for someone to love, you will not find them that way. People look for someone to fill the void of loneliness. People look for somebody to help them with insecurity issues or someone to take care of them or someone to support them financially, someone to make sadness go away from their past or present relationships with others. I see it everyday. People don’t even realize theyre not really in love until eventually one day youre confused as to why things didn’t work out? Because where was the real love? Where was the connection? The passion? The effort? The true love feeling?

Most people run the second things get rough. I, myself am guilty of this. The second you see bad overriding the god, you bounce, assuming there is no saving the relationship. I learned my lesson. Slow down. Don’t run away. Stay. Argue,bicker,yell,cry, let it all out. Just stay. Hear each other out. Communicate!! Stay because deep down you know theyre your person. Stay because you need them. Stay because you need to get through the bad to get to the good.

Love isn’t easy nor simple. Its messy, complicated, and chaotic. Its a constant rollercoaster of ups and downs. Its a journey that you never know what can be thrown at the two of you, but you have faith you can get through anything together. You need to look at the person you love and know there is no one else youd rather ride this journey with. And mean it. Love is beautiful at times but you need to be ready to face the ugly. You need to dig deep in one another and be prepared for anything. You both need to hurt and cry and understand ones flaws, to see if the love is really true.

Love is waking up everyday beside your person and falling in love more than yesterday. You never think its possible, but somehow it happens. Love is choosing the same person everyday no matter how difficult and a pain in the ass they can be. Love is knowing theres a billion options out there, but still only having eyes for your person. Love is a constant battlefield, it requires effort but most of all, it requires staying true. Love is looking at the person in the eyes and knowing nobody in the world couldn’t even come slightly close to comparing to them. “When I met you, I knew you were nowhere near perfect or easy to love, but I knew you perfect for me”. You must know what love is to feel it. You must find the one, your soulmate, your person before you can even understand the feeling. But my god, once you find it, cherish it, never take it for granted, fight for it, and embrace every moment.. Because not everyone is lucky enough to find true love. So if you do, never let it go.