•••••No one gets it, it just “works for us” 

Put anyone in our presence and they’ll laugh and question how we’ve gotten this far. They will say how crazy the two of us are and how all we do is find things to bicker about. They will nod their head and think in their own minds how a relationship like ours could never last a lifetime. And that’s perfectly okay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. 
What most people around us, family, bestfriends, relatives do not understand is that this is what works for us. Because we can bicker and argue about what color the sky is and in ten minutes we’ll be all over each other kissing and holding hands. Because we can voice our so very different opinions and get angry when one doesn’t agree, but within a few moments we will be onto the next topic. Because we can’t stay mad at one another, no matter what. Between the two of us, we know for sure how nothing in this world could be big enough of a problem that we couldn’t get past together. 
The two of us don’t know much about how love works. Or why we fall in love. But we know that the two of us did and when we fell, we knew there was no turning back.
But I do know that when I first met you, it was already there. So you see, I didn’t really need to fall for you, I only needed to say hello. 

Sometimes, we meet the right people at the wrong times. And sometimes, the world makes love look really, really hard. But is it really that hard? Or are you just with the wrong person?

 

With him and I, it comes easy. The love, the connection, that “I know he or she is the one” feeling. Life is hard, yeah. We face problems and situations we must battle through. But the one you love shouldn’t ever be hard.
Everyone seems confused sometimes, they see the two of our stubborn like personalities and see how much we crash. They question how we forgive one another for the crappy pasts we both have had. They wonder how we forgive and love so hard. Because we love each other. Because at the end and beginning of each day there is no person in this world we would rather be laying next too. Because no one sees reality behind closed doors who we are when it’s us alone. The time that really really matters.
So that’s how it just works for us. We love. Hard. We love without limits or fear. We love with honesty and loyalty. We love for one another like it’s our last day here on earth. Cause without him, I wouldn’t be me.

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As long as I’m loving you, I could write forever

—->The day I met you, I couldn’t imagine us making it through a full day together. Here we are three years later and a day apart seems unimaginable. You came at the worst yet best time looking back at it now. I didn’t understand why timing was bringing you to me at the wrong time but now it all makes sense. It was the perfect time. You came at a time where I fully gave up on finding love. You came at a time where you were looking for nothing serious. It sounds like the absolute wrong timing, doesn’t it? 

We found friendship. Such a complex incredible friendship amongst us. We got to know each other, we gave advice on relationships, explained our likes and dislikes, talked about our ugly past that we couldn’t show to anyone because our scars were too deep, we knew one another from inside out. We had soon discovered we were the same person. We had similar painful heartbreaks, we’ve seen real horrible things happen, we have both been through more than we should have. 

Our friendship was enough back then, you had someone, I was still dating and looking around. But I started to see an ongoing habit. I’d realized I started blowing off dates, not putting myself out there, acting like I was already taken, and worst of all.. not being true to myself. And him, that was even worse, he had someone but he started making excuses saying he’s tired or out with the boys just to see me. To feel my touch. To kiss my lips. It was all wrong but between us, nothing else mattered. In the moments together, it was an indescribable feeling.

Once I admitted my feelings, i never thought I’d see him again. It started being less frequent and the texts took longer. Months went by and we kept in touch here and there. Than he left her. I gave up on dating. We left fate in gods hands.

Three years later, I can give my friends advice. I can give hope. I can say that I truly believe in love. I can say I believe in soulmates. It’s the best feeling. To know someone’s your one. To know that’s the person you want to spend forever with. To be so sure you wouldn’t have it any other way. That’s love.

How you know he really loves you.

You’ll know he really loves you when he not only tells you how important you are but shows it. He really loves you when he not only tells you his feelings but does everything possible to show you and constantly remind you. He really loves you if he’s honest and real. If what he has to say might hurt you but he knows his loyalty and word are better than secrets. 

You know he really loves you when he asks what’s wrong and refuses to shut up until you tell him. You know he really loves you when he really listens and doesn’t just pretend. You know he really loves you when he goes through the bad times with you and doesn’t watch you struggle alone. Even if that means him being uncomfortable. 

He really loves you when he is honest about his not so good past but shows and tells you everyday how you’re different. He really loves you when he owns up to the bad like cheating on his last girlfriend or getting in that fight at the bar. He trusts you enough to be honest and share anything with you. He really loves you when he talks to you about marriage family and a future. All of which he never discussed with anyone before  you. 

He really loves you everyday even when he’s not feeling his best or he’s had a bad day at work, he still gives you affection and holds you in his arms all night. He really loves you when you’re a mess and not the best version of yourself. 

He really loves you when he continues to show you day after day. Because his love for you can only grow, never fade. 

How being the girl on the side ended up in my favor

He was poisonous.

He was sexy.

He was dangerous.

He was what I wanted.

He was everything I knew that was completely bad for me. He was risky and bold and I was calm and closed off. He was the definition of a bad boy with a charm but I didn’t care, I needed him. I craved him from my first glance. 

Across the room I could see his eyes set on me. With her by his side, everyone in the room could feel the tension, the adrenaline rush, the temptation of the two of us. Everytime she would look my way I knew it was out of jealousy. Her wavy hair, blue eyes, chubbier body in that black dress. Than I was across the room, blonde pinstraight hair, green eyes, make up done up, and a white tight dress that showed every detail of my curves, my high heels. 

He was a little taller than me, dark beautiful brown eyes, smile that lit up the room, lips that looked so tasteful.

This wasn’t me though. I never was the girl to look at someone who was taken. I never was the girl to want a man who belonged to someone else’s. But I couldn’t deny my feelings, my thoughts, my urge.

The night flew by and all I could think about was him. I needed to see him again. Weeks went by and I went back to the place I last saw him. I went with a few friends for a drink or two and just to let loose and enjoy time with the girls. Not  even having the slightest hope I would ever see him again..

There he was across the room. Looked more perfect than last I saw him. This time, he was only with a friend, there was no girl lingering on his arm. He looked happier, more relaxed. He looked more himself from my point of view. 

My friends told me to stay away but I couldn’t listen. I needed to talk to him. 

As me and the girls were dancing I felt a man come up behind me asking to dance, it was him.. we danced and laughed and we went back to a table to chat. 

He was like nobody I ever met before. I never felt such attraction to anyone else in my life. I knew I was wrong for feeling that way but it was out of my control. I asked once where the girl was and he responded it’s complicated and he’ll explain later if he could.. I smiled and took his hand as he led the way to his car.

When we got back to his place I knew I shouldn’t be there. I knew this bed and this man weren’t mine to have. But I felt something I never felt before. Such a strong connection. I needed him.

He kissed me softly and things escalated pretty quickly. He asked if I was okay cause I looked nervous but I assured it was just very new for me to be doing something so wrong. He made it better though, his assurance was all i needed. Afterwards, I laid there and I couldn’t believe what had happened. Not only was the sex the best I ever had but the connection was indescribable. I needed him.

His situation was tough. His relationship wasn’t healthy. He wasn’t happy. He felt trapped and miserable. I understood. I told him to follow his heart. I always supported him. Whether it meant him staying with her and forgetting me. I knew this was possible when I involved myself in the situation.

Months went on and we’d see each other four times a week minimum. I started to wonder how he even made time for her. But I didn’t care. I deserved him, I knew I did. I knew I could make him happier. So I stuck around. To be a friend to him. 

As time went on things faded out with the two of them and he started to see I was still there for him. Through it all. Hearing about all of it. Giving advice. I sacrificed my happiness because I had hoped one day it would all be worth it. I had fallen deeply in love with him.

Years later we live together, we’re looking at engagement rings, and all of our friends are still in shock as to how we made it this far. When people ask my response is simply ” I knew I needed him from day one. There was something about him I knew I been missing my whole life.. now I wouldn’t trade any of it for nothing. We are who we are today because of the struggles”.

here’s why no one else will ever compare to him. 

He knows me.

I’m not just saying like he’s knows me as in my favorite color or how I like my coffee. He knows me much deeper than that. He knows the ugly sides and the sensitive sides. He knows what to say and what to do. He knows what makes me tick and what can turn a bad day into a better one. He knows me, the real me, and accepts every ounce of it.

He cares.

I know you probably think a lot of guys can care for you. Love you. Promise you the world. Truth is, until I met him, I never let someone in completely. I never wanted to be cared for or loved or promised anything. Perhaps I didn’t care enough or whatever it was. It only meant something to me when he showed he cared, when he showed he loved me, when he showed me forever. 

He’s hard to deal with.

Puzzled as to why this is one of the things that stand out? He’s one of the hardest men I have ever come across but I’ve never loved any other man harder. He’s impossible sometimes and he drives me insane, but there’s nobody else I’d rather have. He’s complicated and well an a-hole sometimes, but I love every part of him. I accepted him for himself when I met him. One thing a lot of people struggle with. Not everything is going to be perfect, but if the love is strong enough, you will stay.

Lastly, marriage. 

He never was the type to be serious in relationships, nor have I. He’s dated a few girls for years/months at a time and maybe marriage came up in small talk but it was never the near future plan. I have dated guys for long periods of time but not one could I picture spending the rest of my life with and going through tough times with. Than we met each other, we fell in love and we can’t wait to get married as soon as possible. We’d do it today if we could. It’s not even a question or doubt. He’s my person. I’m his. And this, this is what it’s like to meet your forever person. 

This is how I fall in love with every version of him

He wasn’t the person he was when I met him three years back, although I loved that person.. the person I saw him grow into is far more incredible.

When I first met him, I saw a version of him that was scared of commitment, who hated the word love, who didn’t do relationships, who hadn’t yet even found himself and loved himself so he was incapable of loving another human being. I saw a man who has been through too much his heart could handle, and the scars showed the hurt and the way his eyes would avoid mine in fear of feeling.

When I first met him he was closed off. He refused to let me in even the slightest bit other than intimacy. I wasn’t looking for a fling, nor a relationship but he kind of just fell into my lap. With him, I wanted to build a friendship first.. I knew that was the only way to get to his heart.

First things first he had to cut things off with his girlfriend, once that was out of the way I knew it would still be a battle.. months went by and constant back and forth but one thing never changed, I never left him feeling alone. And even when he would tell me to leave him alone and he needs to focus on his relationship or himself or whatever it was, I would still be there at the end of the day, and in time he saw that. The consistency.

We started dating and I saw another version of himself. A man who was petrified to fall. A man who convinced himself and everyone else but me that he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. I begged to differ. I knew he wasn’t ready for stable consistent love, but unconditional love was all he needed.

Over time, he started to notice the little things I would do. The way I would look at him. The way I would kiss him. The way I would listen to him. Still, he denied any type of love, which I still, understood from his rocky past.

I sacrificed my happiness for a long time in the process with him. I spent nights crying and confused as to why he did the things he did. I tried my best not to let it get to me or to just leave him, but I couldn’t. He was it. He was my work in progress. He was something worth waiting and fighting for.

Overnight it clicked. I had left him after countless times of telling him I loved him. Countless nights waiting up for him to get home from the club, countless nights of questioning his motives. I left. And that’s when it all clicked. He loved me. He had loved me for awhile but he never had the fear of losing me. He never knew it was real love. He never knew the feeling of absence of another human being until I left him. 

Now three years later, I have seen about 15 different versions of the man he is, I love every one of them. He is my bestfriend, soulmate, forever. Love isn’t easy. Love isn’t simple. Love isn’t always roses and fairytales. It’s hard. You need to want it bad enough. You need to know the person is the one you want forever with. And if that person is your forever, they will come around. You must be patient for the things you want in life. You must be ready to accept any challenge the two of you could possibly face together. You two must be strong enough and passionate enough to want to face a million and one more challenges TOGETHER.. love.. you must know what the word means. You must know the person who makes you believe “love”.. 

This is why you should date the girl who waits for you..

A few years ago, I was indeed the “fool” as everyone said that was waiting for a guy to come around and come to his senses.. and here’s why I encourage you to choose the girl who waits.

She genuinely cares for you.

Nobody is going to wait around for anyone or anything unless they are sure that their feelings are real and true. She isn’t going to sit around for nothing, if she’s patiently waiting for you, I promise there’s a lot more there than you think. She knows her feelings aren’t going anywhere, she’s confident they will not change nor fade. She lets you have space, time, whatever you need, because she knows in her heart how she feels and she loves you enough to be patient until maybe one day you admit your feelings too.

She has patience, but most of all she understands why you do the things you do.. And she’s okay with it(for now).

I’m not saying she’s going to wait FOREVER for you. But she will wait quite some time in hope one day you come to her. The thing about a girl who genuinely loves you, she understands you on a more complex, deeper level than anyone else you’ve ever come in contact with. She gets that sometimes everything isn’t so easy. Sometimes it can be hard, difficult, confusing, complicated, and as much as she wants to slap some sense into what’s in front of you.. she understands you must figure it out on your own. She understands she isn’t your girlfriend, or has any kind of label right now, perhaps you’re with someone else or you’re entertaining other women, and even though the odds aren’t with her right now, she’s happy for you because your happiness will always come before her own.

She promises to wait for you, and not let anyone else entertain her time.

Even if you’re out at the club.. or partying.. or taking home other woman.. or spending time with your girlfriend.. whatever the case may be, she’s not doing the same. Not because she’s crazy or stupid, but because she knows where her heart is at and she knows what she wants. So even if you do not choose her, she’s not out trying to find someone else. She will always be there for you, even when you least deserve it. To listen to your relationship problems or pick you up drunk at 2am.. she will ALWAYS answer because you matter to her. She will never stop choosing you, over and over again. Despite her plans, she will always cancel if it means spending time with you. Even though all her friends are telling her to give up on you, that you treat her like trash, that she deserves better, she ignores it because she believes in you. Even at your lowest.

You probably won’t ever find a girl who can compare to her.. that’s a promise

She waits not out of false hope, or craziness, or sadness.. she waits because she sees potential in you, and most of all she sees potential of you and her together. She tries and tries because she sees a side of you nobody else does.

She will forgive you over and over after you have hurt her.. 

see, this is different. Because I promise it will change if you ever get her to keep as yours. She will not forgive you once she is yours, she will be stern and strong and independent. She will not let you walk all over her. But while you are not hers, she will be your punching bag. She will let you get away with things and act naive.. I promise she knows everything. She will never treat you the way you treat her because she loves you too much to ever see you hurt. She’s seen it enough through other woman damaging you, she will not be another one to the list. She will forgive and do her best to forget if it means you two growing together and the slight chance of making it..

She won’t add stress to your life once you are with her..

When you do realize she’s the one you want to be with.. she will not put pressure on you or make you question things. She will be simply happy you are hers and she will treat you with respect and love at all times. She will never take you for granted and always show her appreciation she has for you. When you only give her 25% effort some days, she will give the 75%, she will be your rock. 

But here’s the thing, she can’t wait forever..

Although she’s patient and she loves you more than anything in her world, she will one day get tired of waiting and trying. And if you take too long, she will get sick of the confusing mind games and realize perhaps you can never give her what she needs in a man. You will miss every phone call, text, times she would stop by in the middle of the night because you were lonely. You’ll miss her touch and the way she would look at you in awe.. And when missing her becomes too much and you pick up the phone to give her a call , realizing you shouldn’t have kept her waiting.. you better hope and pray to God someone hasn’t beaten you to it and gave her all the things you couldn’t…

And if you’re one of the lucky ones like I was you will be with the man who was rare, special, but most of all that I saw potential in and whom I waited for.. if he’s worth it, don’t listen to everyone else, wait for him. Understand him. Love him.