•••••No one gets it, it just “works for us” 

Put anyone in our presence and they’ll laugh and question how we’ve gotten this far. They will say how crazy the two of us are and how all we do is find things to bicker about. They will nod their head and think in their own minds how a relationship like ours could never last a lifetime. And that’s perfectly okay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. 
What most people around us, family, bestfriends, relatives do not understand is that this is what works for us. Because we can bicker and argue about what color the sky is and in ten minutes we’ll be all over each other kissing and holding hands. Because we can voice our so very different opinions and get angry when one doesn’t agree, but within a few moments we will be onto the next topic. Because we can’t stay mad at one another, no matter what. Between the two of us, we know for sure how nothing in this world could be big enough of a problem that we couldn’t get past together. 
The two of us don’t know much about how love works. Or why we fall in love. But we know that the two of us did and when we fell, we knew there was no turning back.
But I do know that when I first met you, it was already there. So you see, I didn’t really need to fall for you, I only needed to say hello. 

Sometimes, we meet the right people at the wrong times. And sometimes, the world makes love look really, really hard. But is it really that hard? Or are you just with the wrong person?

 

With him and I, it comes easy. The love, the connection, that “I know he or she is the one” feeling. Life is hard, yeah. We face problems and situations we must battle through. But the one you love shouldn’t ever be hard.
Everyone seems confused sometimes, they see the two of our stubborn like personalities and see how much we crash. They question how we forgive one another for the crappy pasts we both have had. They wonder how we forgive and love so hard. Because we love each other. Because at the end and beginning of each day there is no person in this world we would rather be laying next too. Because no one sees reality behind closed doors who we are when it’s us alone. The time that really really matters.
So that’s how it just works for us. We love. Hard. We love without limits or fear. We love with honesty and loyalty. We love for one another like it’s our last day here on earth. Cause without him, I wouldn’t be me.

This is how I fall in love with every version of him

He wasn’t the person he was when I met him three years back, although I loved that person.. the person I saw him grow into is far more incredible.

When I first met him, I saw a version of him that was scared of commitment, who hated the word love, who didn’t do relationships, who hadn’t yet even found himself and loved himself so he was incapable of loving another human being. I saw a man who has been through too much his heart could handle, and the scars showed the hurt and the way his eyes would avoid mine in fear of feeling.

When I first met him he was closed off. He refused to let me in even the slightest bit other than intimacy. I wasn’t looking for a fling, nor a relationship but he kind of just fell into my lap. With him, I wanted to build a friendship first.. I knew that was the only way to get to his heart.

First things first he had to cut things off with his girlfriend, once that was out of the way I knew it would still be a battle.. months went by and constant back and forth but one thing never changed, I never left him feeling alone. And even when he would tell me to leave him alone and he needs to focus on his relationship or himself or whatever it was, I would still be there at the end of the day, and in time he saw that. The consistency.

We started dating and I saw another version of himself. A man who was petrified to fall. A man who convinced himself and everyone else but me that he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. I begged to differ. I knew he wasn’t ready for stable consistent love, but unconditional love was all he needed.

Over time, he started to notice the little things I would do. The way I would look at him. The way I would kiss him. The way I would listen to him. Still, he denied any type of love, which I still, understood from his rocky past.

I sacrificed my happiness for a long time in the process with him. I spent nights crying and confused as to why he did the things he did. I tried my best not to let it get to me or to just leave him, but I couldn’t. He was it. He was my work in progress. He was something worth waiting and fighting for.

Overnight it clicked. I had left him after countless times of telling him I loved him. Countless nights waiting up for him to get home from the club, countless nights of questioning his motives. I left. And that’s when it all clicked. He loved me. He had loved me for awhile but he never had the fear of losing me. He never knew it was real love. He never knew the feeling of absence of another human being until I left him. 

Now three years later, I have seen about 15 different versions of the man he is, I love every one of them. He is my bestfriend, soulmate, forever. Love isn’t easy. Love isn’t simple. Love isn’t always roses and fairytales. It’s hard. You need to want it bad enough. You need to know the person is the one you want forever with. And if that person is your forever, they will come around. You must be patient for the things you want in life. You must be ready to accept any challenge the two of you could possibly face together. You two must be strong enough and passionate enough to want to face a million and one more challenges TOGETHER.. love.. you must know what the word means. You must know the person who makes you believe “love”.. 

How I fell for my fwb(friends w benefits) without even realizing it..

When I met him, I saw a man that was hardworking, sweet, kind, and not looking for anything serious either.. He was a bad boy but something about him drew me in. Maybe it was the way he carried himself or the way he would smile at me.. I was so intrigued. I needed to know more. From the start, we made it clear we both weren’t looking for a relationship or anything serious for that matter. It was just going to be “for fun”. And that it was.

We became bestfriends overnight it felt like. We were so open and honest with one another and it was relieving being around someone who knew your intentions and didn’t expect the world from you. It was exciting and new and we both just wanted to enjoy what we had while it lasted. I was myself around him, I didn’t have to pretend or fake something I wasn’t. I was able to laugh and smile and goof around with him, that undeniably scared me. But I ignored it. The friendship we grew in such a short time was one I realized I was scared to lose.. And this is when I began to worry.. Was I falling for him?

Being comfortable with someone else is an amazing feeling. Not having to hide any parts of you and being able to talk to them about anything, its kind of just.. calming. After a few months of talking and hanging out here and there, I found out he had someone else. In that moment, I realized, “well shit.. I think I may be in love with him”.. it was crazy and I convinced myself I was losing it and who was I to have anything to say or to judge based on the situation.. I was a nobody. I was simply his bestfriend. I dated around and what not while we talked, but it was never the same. With him, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I felt like nothing else in the world mattered. I realized.. we had broke all the rules fwb are suppose to do.. Now what?

After all, we broke every single rule the more I looked at it. We became so comfortable with one another, we would find ourselves cuddling skin on skin and laughing and kissing.. We found ourselves sending random texts throughout the week when something good happens or you saw something that made you think of them..We began to get bothered when they wouldn’t answer our message right away, lowkey wondering what are they doing?is she with him?is he with her? are they thinking about me? Countless amounts of questions wed never admit. We began to rather hangout with one another instead of go out to dinner with our dates, or go to a party, or anything else.. because quality time was just “more fun”.We began being there for each other a lot more emotionally and realized no one quite understood us like one another.

Months and months go by, and suddenly one random night, we look at each other and realize we fell in love. Absolutely not on purpose, without plan, without even trying. We fell helplessly in love with one another. And that my friends.. is how you fall in love with your bestfriend without even noticing it.

The girl I was before you..

I was always so independent, I took pride in that. While everyone was getting mixed up in their love fantasies, I was kind of just sitting back… wondering how you could give your all to someone with the high chance they can take it all and leave you with nothing but a broken heart. I never believed in finding the one, or fate, or that when you meet someone you’ll just know. It all seemed too unbelievable.

I guess growing up with two older brothers, I saw it all. I saw what boys could do and couldn’t do. I saw what boys were capable of. I saw the difference between a boy loving a girl and wanting a girl. I saw everything I did and didn’t want in a man.. so I refused to settle. I dated of course, I had my share of random flings and I liked a lot of “boys”.. notice how I say “boys” they weren’t men. I knew that. So I guess I never even gave them a shot because I wasn’t good at “falling in love”.. it just never seemed right. 

Than I met you. My whole world turned upside down. You were my perfect man. There was no running from it or denying it. People could see it in my eyes when I would speak of you, I finally fell in love. And it was so real. Not a fake love. Or fling. Or anything like that. I knew from the moment I met you, I was going to fall in love with you.

It’s not that you brought out the best in me or made me happy, not that you didn’t do those things but it was so much more to that. It was something I still to this day cannot put in words. You made me feel alive. You made me feel like I was the best thing that ever walked into your life. You made me see the beauty in being in love. You made sense when everything else in my life simply did not. 

It wasn’t all so simple at first.. we had our share of fights, breakups, disagreements, and rough times.. but we always found our way back to one another. No matter what was said or what had happened, we made it work. You made me let down my tough strong exterior, and I let you in. You made me feel safe and secure. You made me see a future and look forward to things like a house and family. You made everyday a whole lot brighter. 

Neither of us are even close to perfect but my god do we try to be for each other. We may seem a little crazy and psychotic to most people and that’s okay. We may not always see eye to eye and that’s okay. We may have a ton of differences and that’s okay. But one thing never changes the love we have for each other. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all baby. People would kill to have what we have.