What I learned dating someone with a different ethnicity/culture

We grew up completely different lives..

While a lot of things were similar, more were different. When you meet someone with different opinions or morals or point of views, you must not be quick to judge. Everyone grows up differently. Sometimes for better but sometimes for worse. When I met my soulmate I knew there were things I’d have to dig deep to figure out. A lot of the time at home lifestyles are very different. And parents raise their child differently than you. I had to open my mind and be understanding.. If you do your best to open your mind and try to put yourself in their shoes, you will get along better and help them grow significantly. 

We don’t have the same religious or culture..

It’s okay! At first it may be difficult. As a couple, you will probably argue and disagree on quite a few things but it is OK. Everyone will see things differently. What I learned is it’s okay not to agree on everything. It’s also okay to compromise and change your views. Growing up with different cultures can be exciting. Having both worlds is fun, different food, language, atmosphere. I learned to get comfortable fast and not be afraid of change. I always was nervous for change but once I experienced different things, I realized it’s fun!

We probably won’t get along sometimes..

Different ethnicity and cultures tend to have different perks.. some get angrier quicker, some are calmer, some are easy going, some take more things to heart than others, some feel differently. But at the end of the day we’re all human beings. We all have feelings, emotions, thoughts. We all have bad days good days hard days. I learned that while dating a man who has a short temper, it’s okay to let things go. While I used to be stubborn, I pick and chose my battles. It’s okay to apologize even if you’re right and to stop an argument before it escalates. People of different cultures may see things as bigger or smaller deals than others. Try your best to see yourself from another’s point of view..

Lastly, when it comes to racial comments and political debates, UNDERSTAND. 

I by no means am perfect. I have said things and thought things that weren’t right. But when I started dating someone from another ethnicity, everything changed. I met more people of different cultures, I saw more, I heard more, and it’s sad sometimes. My boyfriend came here at 4.. no choice, and he was forced to grow up in America. He didn’t know any better or know what that meant or what he would have to go through. But him as well as his four sisters were brought to this country to get a better life. As he grew older he started understanding more and more but still things were always blurry. Why he didn’t grow up like the kids in his class, why the white kids seemed to have better lives, more rights, freedom, more things, more love from their families. Over the years I have seen racial comments everywhere. Tv, commercials, in school, hearing adults talk. But I never really listened. Or thought it would ever affect me. Now at 20 years old, I finally see the clear aspects of it. I see the unfairness that a lot of people from different cultures have to go through. The hate and struggle. I see his friends who have been here over 40 years with children and families who are now in a scared position that they may get sent back to their country. Than I see my boyfriend, 24, who has been here twenty years and still doesn’t have the rights he deserves. He still doesn’t get the credit he deserves. Hard working and still has to deal with the struggle of not being “American”. To me, American is loving the country. The opportunity. And giving back to the country. 

When we have kids..

So when we have children, white and Hispanic, I will teach my child both languages, both cultures, both backgrounds. I will teach my child that is an American about the struggle and to be appreciative of the life they were given for some weren’t as lucky. I will teach my child to be open to all colors of people. My daughter or son will date someone regardless of the race, white black spanish anything they want. My child will learn about true love and how it brought together mommy and daddy regardless of our culture. My child will never know the word race and it will not matter. My child will be brought up with nothing but love and great knowledge so maybe our future generations, racism will never be a factor. It will be the norm. 

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Author: kittttykattt

20 year old writer. Letting all the words you cant say flow onto paper is the best way to let out your emotions. Believer in love, living life to the fullest, and pursuing my dreams.

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