The girl I was before you..

I was always so independent, I took pride in that. While everyone was getting mixed up in their love fantasies, I was kind of just sitting back… wondering how you could give your all to someone with the high chance they can take it all and leave you with nothing but a broken heart. I never believed in finding the one, or fate, or that when you meet someone you’ll just know. It all seemed too unbelievable.

I guess growing up with two older brothers, I saw it all. I saw what boys could do and couldn’t do. I saw what boys were capable of. I saw the difference between a boy loving a girl and wanting a girl. I saw everything I did and didn’t want in a man.. so I refused to settle. I dated of course, I had my share of random flings and I liked a lot of “boys”.. notice how I say “boys” they weren’t men. I knew that. So I guess I never even gave them a shot because I wasn’t good at “falling in love”.. it just never seemed right. 

Than I met you. My whole world turned upside down. You were my perfect man. There was no running from it or denying it. People could see it in my eyes when I would speak of you, I finally fell in love. And it was so real. Not a fake love. Or fling. Or anything like that. I knew from the moment I met you, I was going to fall in love with you.

It’s not that you brought out the best in me or made me happy, not that you didn’t do those things but it was so much more to that. It was something I still to this day cannot put in words. You made me feel alive. You made me feel like I was the best thing that ever walked into your life. You made me see the beauty in being in love. You made sense when everything else in my life simply did not. 

It wasn’t all so simple at first.. we had our share of fights, breakups, disagreements, and rough times.. but we always found our way back to one another. No matter what was said or what had happened, we made it work. You made me let down my tough strong exterior, and I let you in. You made me feel safe and secure. You made me see a future and look forward to things like a house and family. You made everyday a whole lot brighter. 

Neither of us are even close to perfect but my god do we try to be for each other. We may seem a little crazy and psychotic to most people and that’s okay. We may not always see eye to eye and that’s okay. We may have a ton of differences and that’s okay. But one thing never changes the love we have for each other. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all baby. People would kill to have what we have.

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Author: kittttykattt

20 year old writer. Letting all the words you cant say flow onto paper is the best way to let out your emotions. Believer in love, living life to the fullest, and pursuing my dreams.

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